Salad

Chop, slice, dice, mix

So many wonderful vegetables in the midst

Tomato creeps in, hiding in mystery

He’s been there for years, relying on history

Who knows if he belongs, but he sure fits in

Nothing wrong with a tomato, so free of sin

Croutons enter and the gang goes cold

Adding bread to the group seems a decision so bold

What will he do with little nutritious value?

He says he shall add crunch and they respond, “Shall you?”

A consensus arrives and the bread is evicted

Too many strangers and the world will change

At least that what the gods predicted

So they try to add chicken, free range

The chicken blends well, although not of the kind

The vegetables agree with him, they don’t seem to mind

Turning their creation into a full-blown meal

That’s all the chicken does, and at least it’s not veal

Perhaps a cooked salmon, could strive to intertwine

But definitely no other bird or beast, especially swine

Spinach and lettuce, are the kings of the bowl

Looking to tomatoes and cucumbers to play their role

Carrots and red onions, thinly they were sliced

Just sticking to the leaders, glued to them like tasty lice

Still they feel uncomfortable, maybe a new friend?

Perhaps a pineapple or a mango, peaking out the bend

No! The soldiers yell, you will not invade today!

You are not of our kind, with your own you should play

The tomato sits aside, biting back a fiery verse

But he will simply watch, for being on the other side is worse

The fruits do not take him, do not play with him as their own

So he has been exiled to the vegetables, destined to be alone

But the plight of the tomato could always be much worse

He could be on the potato level of the curse

The potato was banished, so he left his friends to be alone

Only among eggs and mayonnaise, did he find a home

Vegetables did not look at him, or even acknowledge him as their own

They treated him like a dog to whom they never threw a bone

The veggies of course, did not worry, except about themselves

Back they looked, for other friends were coming from the shelves

A pair of friends arrive, asking for a talk

They seem to be salt and pepper, hand in hand they walk

One is quite charming, and the other a following little brother

How could they accept one and not accept the other?

After a few moments, the deal seems very clear

Pepper will not join, unless salt also stays here

Begrudgingly, vegetables agree, they see what they must do

And so it was that salt and pepper, were thrown away like poo

Still they remained naked, not a covering in sight

But alas in the distance, some cheese has taken flight

Its heading straight for them, not a single place to hide

But then a quite large figure appears right by their side

It thwarts away the cheese, breaks it as easily as a branch

But who was it that saved them, you guessed it, it was ranch!

They were thrilled to see that they were saved, and more excited for their friend

As they hugged the wait was over, they now all waited for THE END.

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Meats

Steak, grill, fry, or bake

Feed it grass let it drink from the lake

Cow so mean, make the meat all lean

Pair it with a side of taters and green beans

Well done, go home, medium is the max

Medium-rare the king, everyone else just jacks

Cook it rare if you’re crazy, or just like the blood

But at that point just kill it, and eat straight out the mud

Hunter or gatherer, we all love steak

Disregard whatever the vegetarians think

Eating seafood makes me want to step on a rake

If the vegans had their way I’d never see that perfect pink

Right when I cut in I can tell right away

“Yes its good waiter, now leave so I can play”

And by play I mean eat, like I’m Zeke on the ball

If I can’t eat steak, what’s the point of eating at all?

Chicken, finger lickin’ good, no KFC

But you can see me eating that fowl luxury

Delicious and simple, my type of meat

One of the only birds that can’t leave its feet

Like its cousin turkey, but he’s for feasts

Chicken is so versatile it can feed any beasts

Bread it, cook it, fill it with parm

Or fry it dip it, and let the sauce run on your arm

Buy it alive, dead, or cooked & season how you want

Preparation so easy, I spend more time trying to choose a font

Nuggets of all kinds

Dino, standard, starred, all with fires

Ketchup on the side, give it a smooth dunk

Anyone who hates it probably eats junk

Eat a burger, then another one

‘Cause a burger is the most delicious that is on a bun

All the fixings, every single one

And if you miss my hot sauce then you better go and run

1 patty, 2 patty, all the way to 3

3 third pound patties means a pound of meat for me

Slice it up, onions and tomatoes

Even throw the jalapenos for the extra flavors

Leaf of lettuce, fluff it up real nice

Butter top and bottom bun, and then you do it twice

Sesame, that’s what type of seed

We put it on the bun of the food that you really need

Not just want, you can’t live without it

With burgers all up in your mouth, heaven’s here, we found it

Dripping out, there’s a little sauce

Let it drip and show the world you really are a boss

‘Cause you eating, grass fed burger meat

Healthy cows make healthy beef… that’s a treat!

Let’s take your average sausage

And we’ll put it in a bun

And just so it gets the message

It’ll be surrounded so it can’t run

Because it will get lonely

In the bun all by itself

We will add some cheese not only

For happiness but also good health

Jalapenos should be added too, for a little spice

This is not your average breakfast, in fact its twice as nice

A simple food makes little trouble sitting in the freezer

Heat it up, you have yourself an entire full meal teaser

Although its cousin from Chicago will say it’s the best

Its sweet bread and savory juices make kolaches far above the rest

If you don’t know what I’m saying, you must give it a try

You will see kolaches are made for everyone, even you and I

All these delicious meats, they are a family to me

From steak to chicken to burgers, and even to kolaches

They should all be eaten, once and then again

For meats make the world go around 10 days out of 10

I hope that you have learned a bit about my love for meats

Some people like candy, but I like my salty flavored treats

They make me feel secure, and build me up so strong

If you don’t like meats, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong.

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Snow

How can you be described, when you are a part of so much

Surrounding all of us, covering almost everything we touch

Your solid grip preserves what is far and what is near

With you covering it we can leave it out with no fear

Occasionally you don’t know your strength and are added to excess

But then we try to shovel you off, maybe add some to the rest

You slide off noses and fingertips, dripping to the ground

You can also be found on tables, usually in a mound

You have a twin who looks like you, but is about 10x more sweet

To mix you up would be a disaster akin to losing an entire fleet

I prefer your taste on most my foods, regardless of what they are

I will even find you lining glasses at a margarita bar

Since time has started you have been integral to life

If I had no love for women, I’m sure you would be my wife

Some will say that they don’t like you, which is only their own fault

I for one, will always favor you, the lord of spices: salt.

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Angel

As I stood, I saw her floating, hair blowing in the wind

Something about her golden locks make me feel like I have sinned

It must be wrong to love her so, this beauty that is mine

But it was me who made her grow, to curly from a line

I cared so much I sprinkled her, with her favorite crystal gems

Though she never called me sir, she is the flower to my stems

She gives me strength to run and jump, and conquer all my fears

And with her friends she stands alone, superior to her peers

If I could, I would consume her every night and every day

Unfortunately for me, I care how much I weigh

In my eyes she’s best naked, except a little butter

Too much sauce and she begins to taste like any other

Although her siblings may do best with a lot of cheese

Her graciousness deserves only to be worshipped on the knee

Her presence is a miracle, especially here on earth

Even Benjamin Button would eat her every day from death till birth

Across the entire world, even Italians can’t compare

By far the superior pasta is the gorgeous angel hair.