Texas: the land of fried foods, the occasional redneck, and a deep-rooted love of country music. Country music is what makes Texas, Texas. Even if you don’t like country music, if you live anywhere within the borders of the great state you’ve heard a song or two. But what would happen if you took the country music out of Texas?
First, all hell would break loose. Cowboy boots would be thrown into dumpsters, no longer necessary for two stepping, plaid shirts would be burned, jeans wouldn’t be so tight, and the teased hair would deflate. Cowboy hats would be replaced with standard baseball caps, the kind without tears and without questionable sayings like “Preserve Wildlife Pickle A Squirrel.” There would probably even be a little less glitter in the world. Who knows what Dolly Parton would wear, with her go to outfit options wiped out like a bad disease.
Next, the iconic Texas dance halls would fall. Without country music, there would be no more two steppers and live bands to serenade them, and the barren dance floors would be closed to the public for good. Places like Gruene Hall, which launched the careers of Lyle Lovett and George Strait, and Luckenbach, which was the inspiration for one of Wayl0n Jennings’ hits, would be torn down and replaced with hippie bars or even worse- a shopping mall.
Without country music, there would be no Texas State Fair in Dallas or the epic Houston Rodeo every year. What’s the point of buying overpriced fried food and stomping around in cowboy boots trying to win cheap prizes if you can’t watch Luke Bryan shake it for you after? Say goodbye to Big Tex and that oversized Ferris wheel; they’re already dead along with your favorite Little Big Town jam.
Finally, country radio stations would be replaced with more teeny bop pop and rap music that just consists of people talking while someone punches a keyboard in the background. Top 40 stations would take over the state, which probably means the end of pick up trucks and long rides through back roads with the windows down.
So where would Texas be without country music? There would be no more cowboy boots or hats, teased hair, fairs, dance halls producing huge country sensations, or radio stations playing country music. Could it be that this elimination of country music would result in Texas turning into…the North?! Who knows what would really happen if this nightmare were to actually happen, but it’s safe to say that we all hope it never does.